JAS 360: LEEDS
JAS 360: LEEDS was founded in 1987 by John King, Antony Keegan-Phipps and Sepalika Kobalavithanage, three former high fliers of the McCarthy Ellison Empire who defected when they had built sufficient reputations to start their own agency. Sensibly they opted against the tried and true big sounding corporate acronym: With the trio of surnames available – King, Keegan-Phipps and Kobalavithanage – their only source of business would have been the American Deep South circa 1950 and that was neither practical nor legal. Most importantly it wasn’t viable: they were based in Leeds. Another option was the triple barrelled King Keegan-Phipps Kobalavithanage title much loved by advertising agencies the world over. But with creative director, Sepalika Kobalavithanage’s presence on the scene, telephonists would have been in danger of swallowing their own tongues. Hence John, Antony and Sepalika resorted to a memorable, if toilet cleaner-like compilation of their initials. 360 was merely added as a vague, artsy nod to their holistic approach to advertising.
I had been something of a JAS 360: LEEDS groupie ever since they won Clio Grand Prix in just their second year of operation. I’d sat riveted to lengthy interviews with John, Antony and Sepalika as their empire grew and I’d fallen in love with Sepalika Kobalavithanage, an expat Sri Lankan of such mesmerising beauty, grace and power with the pithy headline I melted in every pure white upward spreading of her mouth. She reminded me of Gabriel. Or maybe Gabriel reminded me of her.
***
One of them was John King, JAS 360 CEO, looking like Grizzly Adams at a biker wedding with his wild man hair and beard and his fat man black suit. One of them was Antony Keegan-Phipps, Executive Account Director, looking like a Wall Street banker with his slick black hair and slick black suit. One of them was Sepalika Kobalavithanage. Aaaah, Sepalika! Like a little pot of fine Ceylon tea.
There were media people and accounts people and research people. The rest were the competition. Sixteen of them, eight resident teams of JAS 360 writers and art directors, the youngest of which were just off the tit, the oldest of which were just old tits. They were an interesting cross-section of English sub-cultures from hat wearing Pet Shop Boys to shaven headed thugs off East Enders. There were eleven men and five women, all of whom looked like they’d got their attitude from Vinnie Jones. My contempt for them was palpable. They stood between me and JAS 360 glory. They’d already made it. I hadn’t.
So to the brief. Here is all you need to know from that exhaustive two hour meeting. John King aka Grizzly Adams: ‘I don’t need to tell you how important this pitch is to us. But I’ll tell you anyway. This pitch is fucking important. We have to win it! You have to win it! And you will win it or I’ll sack the lot of you! Within these walls are the finest fucking creatives in England. You’ve proved that. You’re why Asok came to us. You’re why they will come to stay.’
Sepalika Kobalavithanage: ‘…I’d also like to welcome Bailey Harland and Fergus Blaine, a freelance team who will also be working on the pitch. Welcome gentlemen. We look forward to your ideas.’ Sixteen sets of eyes burned holes through our foreheads.
Antony Keegan-Phipps: ‘Asok Marauder football boots.’ An audio-visual of an orbiting soccer boot appeared on a large screen that had just slunk silently from the ceiling. ‘Newly designed for English football star, Andrew Sandham. The lightest, yet most powerful Asok football boot ever. And that’s saying something.' He scanned the room saying nothing. ‘Two inner soles,' he continued. 'One firm to allow more powerful shooting, the other soft for more fleet-footedness. Flatter profile. Glove-like fit. Asok patented technology so even the backyard hack can swerve it like Sandham. A claim best not scrutinised too thoroughly as there is also the small matter of technique to consider, a technique it has taken Sandham himself umpteen years to master, but this is by the by. Our job, of course, is not to sell the reality, but the dream.’
Keegan-Phipps picked up a sample off the table. ‘This is the best football boot in the world,' he said brandishing it around the room. 'Soon to be the most famous football boot in the world. At a hundred and thirty pounds a pair, it would need to be. We.' - he pointed the toe of the boot at faces around the room just to be sure we understood what he meant by we - 'are to launch this boot. Well, we hope and expect to launch this boot. First we have to win the business. For those of you who wish to know, we are pitching against five agencies. I am not privy as to who those agencies are, so don’t ask. This is what we have been asked to do.
He placed the boot on the table and went walkabout. ‘Andrew Sandham now plays his football for FC Barcelona as anyone familiar with the game will know, or anyone merely familiar with Andrew Sandham.’ Titters around the table. ‘Now,’ he paused for effect, ‘on the twentieth of March, FC Barcelona play Chelsea in a European Cup eliminator at Stamford Bridge. Asok and the Marauder brand wish to leverage off this event in their launch of the Marauder brand utilising media in the ground, around the ground, leading to the ground and, of course, Match of the Day television time on BBC1. Unfortunately due to the high demand for television time, this space has already been pre-booked by Asok’s incumbent agency meaning we are stuck with sixty second spots.’ Cheers from around the table. ‘Yes, I thought you’d like that bit. Now, let’s get on with it.’
And, finally, get on with it, he did.
Basically, the brief was as simple and concise as a brief could be. Utilising sixty second television spots and outdoor media around the field, stadium and along the main thoroughfares leading to the stadium, we were required to express the following: You too can swerve it like Sandham if you buy these boots.’ I can assure you briefs don’t get any more concise and single minded than that. Nor any more exciting than that.
The deadline for concepts was a luxurious three weeks away. I breathed a sigh of relief: we could work it around our Creative Solutions commitments. For now, Charlie Chabot had a stay of execution.
Moreover, it was a massively exciting opportunity. And it signalled a rather sudden change in fortunes…
***
Gabriel had been back on speaking terms with Chicken Colditz for a week now – not in a popping in for coffee sort of way, just a not hanging up when she phoned sort of way. She had used these brief but precious forums to further state my (our) case. Then, surprise of all surprises…a call from Mariabella. They were ready to meet.
We suggested dinner at Hartley Castle House on Saturday night. They agreed.
It felt like we’d won Lotto, such was the elation, the utter euphoria of the breakthrough. The Cold War was over. Now we had three days to prepare. Which was plenty. All we had to do was ensure Saturday night was a success. A simple, uncomplicated success.
That’s all we had to do.
